Stakeout: The Vintage Detective Hits Geelong

There is only one thing you really need to know if you want to go op-shopping in Geelong on a Saturday. Get there early – like, really early. Everything is shut, shut, shut by 12.30pm – which means that your detective’s remarks are based on a lot of peering through windows and taking photos (and she is now mildly concerned that ASIO is keeping a file on her…the things I do for this blog…).

Anyway, I’ll backtrack for a sec. The reason I was in Geelong in the first place was to check out the legendary Mill Markets. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Mill Markets, they’re kind of like Chapel St Bazaar on steroids. I’ve only had a very cursory look through the Daylesford one (they were closing, I got hounded out), but I have very fond memories of rifling away for hours on end at the Geelong one. It’s the same system as Chapel St – lots of individual sellers with stalls and a central desk where you buy stuff/prod someone to fish something out of a cabinet for you/ask questions to which they respond ‘I dunno you have to ask the vendor and they’re not here’.

I’m going to put in some directions (dicey…I couldn’t direct my way out of a hessian sack) because it really is a bit of a dog to find. You take the freeway, and then take the left where a sign reads ‘Geelong city centre’. Soon you’ll hit an overpass, and as you’re going over it you’ll see a silo of some type with a banner stuck to it that reads ‘Antiques next left’. Do as the banner says and take the next left, and then you can’t miss it.

So we arrived at the market, and I’m positively humming with the glee of anticipating a good scavenge. Then we walk through the door. In the interests of accuracy and transparency, I believe the first thing I said was “What the #$!@ has happened here?”

The ‘market’ was gone. The stalls were gone. The entire back half was closed off. There were but a few larger, dusty antiques with several feet of space between each (as though someone was trying to hide the fact that the place was basically empty) and a small ‘stall’ with books. That. Was. It. You can imagine how impressed I was after driving for an hour to get there.

I did see a couple of cool things – a medical exam table ($100, and it wouldn’t fit in my car anyway), a baby grand, and so on. The beau even bought something – a copy of Gough Whitlam’s famous account of the 1975 dismissal, ‘The Truth of The Matter’ ($5). But the fact remains – Mill Markets Geelong is now defunct. Don’t go there. I have sent an email to the owner of the markets to find out what’s happening, and as soon as I get a response I’ll let you know.

So after much gnashing of teeth and getting out of there, we decided to go into Geelong proper and see what we could see. This involved me ‘just checking’ if there were any other op shops among the fast food outlets and sunburned youths with Australian flags draped around their necks who were yelling and kicking each other in the streets (OK, it was Australia day, but that in no way rules out the possibility that this is a daily occurrence in Geelong).

Anyway…here are some brief notes about each of the shops I saw:

1. Unnamed second hand shop, Ryrie St (across the road from the Cash Converters)

This place looked awesome. It was crammed to the rafters with all kinds of orderless, moth-friendly wonder, and my photo really isn’t doing justice to its jolly, half-crazed vibe. The only problem is that the floor appears to have as much bounty covering it as the rest of the shop, so how you get in to take a gander is anyone’s guess (closes at 12.30pm on a Saturday, 4pm weekdays):

There’s a matching unnamed secondhand bookshop next door (if you have an enquiry about the second hand shop, you have to direct it to the bookshop) which looks equally rad for much the same reasons:

2. Salvation Army, 128 Ryrie Street

I have actually been into this Salvos before (about 2 years ago). Back then I was highly unimpressed; it’s one of those oppys that sells new, bulk cleaning products etc, and I had the impression that it was high on the synthetic fabrics and low on the good stuff. However, I may well have misjudged the place, as Would You Take a Look at the Front Cabinet:

I’m willing to ignore that most of those jewellery boxes said ‘Prouds – The Jewellers’ and bet that that cabinet has some excellent wares to behold.

Closes at 12.30pm on Saturday.

3. Lifeline ‘Just For You’ Shop, 13 James Street

Another early closer. Had some visible crocheted shawls that looked pretty good, and a mannequin in a very fetching blue swimsuit at the front:

It did seem to be rather a small shop, neat and with an emphasis on newish stuff hanging on well-spaced coathangers.

Closes at 12.30pm on a Saturday (in fact it may have even been 12, so get yr skates on).

4. Red Cross Shop, 64 Bellerine St Geelong

Again, this didn’t look great – not a lot of density and a bit too ‘clean’ for my liking. One of those places that’s full of those mid-90s matte colours – dark green, burgundy, navy, etc in flowing shapeless dresses and suit jackets (and possibly even a pair of tencel jeans…). Also it’s bang in the middle of a main shopping strip, so I’m willing to bet it gets regularly picked over. Closes about 1pm on Saturday.

5. Moorabool Antique Galleries, 16-18 Ryrie St Geelong

This place actually stays open until 4pm, so I got to go in (hooray!)

However, be warned – it has a misnomer. The joint should be called ‘Moorabool Antique Porcelain/Crockery and nothing else PS if you’re wearing denim and look like you’re under 45 get the hell out or I’ll eye you suspiciously until you leave’.
 
I walked in, what sounded like a siren went off, I wandered over to get a look at some interesting plates/teacups and next thing I knew this guy with a little moustache sidles up and says ‘So….can I help yooouuuuuu with anything?’

In the interests of this blog I ignored his smarminess, resisted my urge to leave, and had a good poke around.

There are some truly beautiful pieces of crockery here (and even the odd bit of Georgian furniture). But it’s very much a look-don’t-touch (and don’t buy, unless you have some serious coin, many pieces are in the $1000s) kind of venue.

I spent a while staring lovingly at some handpainted Victorian brooches until the beau set off the siren thingy again and we made a hasty exit. (I’m fairly sure the guy shook his fist after us and said ‘You dang-blasted kids!’ but it could have been sunglare/traffic noise/me making it up).

6. Mark Ward Trading, 19 Ryrie St Geelong

I had a bucketload of fun marvelling at the strange objects in this centre (it had a similar set up to Chapel St Bazaar again, with individual sellers and a central desk, but it was much smaller). To give you an idea, I stared slack-jawed at a:

1. Giant taxidermied bear
2. Gigantic high heeled shoe ‘sculpture’ (I don’t know what else to call it…)
3. Strange bust of Bert Newton, which looked like a horror movie prop
4. Many ventriloquist puppets, including this Gough-loving example (Gough became a real theme that day):

5. Weird plastic bust of Bob Hawke
6. Antique cash register of huge proportions

If anything, I’d say there was an oddly ‘masculine’ vibe to the place – lots of sports memorabilia, old tools etc. I think the giant shark hanging from the ceiling encapsulates the overall spirit of the place. It shuts at 5.30pm on a Saturday.

I didn’t buy anything, but we did get licked/followed around by a lovely old blue heeler who seemed to live in the shop, so all in all it was a winner.

So, that was that. Total expenditure was zero. How about all of you? Can you share any insights about these or other op shops, vintage stores or antiqes centres in the Geelong region?

PS Here’s your detective in Geelong. She didn’t buy a rug.