Stakeout: The Golden Age of Couture Exhibition, Bendigo, 7 December 2008 – 22 March 2009

Now look, I know I’ve been something of a Layzee Detective of late, and, being conscientious by nature (less fun than the rap group Naughty by Nature, but more likely to get an excellent tax return), I feel badly about this. I do. But between getting my sorry ass down to the apple isle (yes, I’m broadcasting from Tasmania, the greatest place in Australia for vintage and antiques – seriously, it’s Tasmazing), The Family Christmas, doing PhD related BS and eating myself into a crème-brulee-coloured haze, I haven’t had a whole lot of time on my hands. Plus I still don’t have the internet. I’m writing this in Hobart’s sole internet café, underneath a portrait of Errol Flynn in tights…be still my beating heart etc etc. Sincerest apologies.

Anyway, I’ve been meaning to tell y’all about the Golden Age of Couture Exhibition at the Bendigo Art Gallery, which I visited a couple of weeks ago. I first found out about this exhibition via a free postcard, which I swooped on with a fury normally reserved for the Boxing Day sales (hey, topical) or the last strawberry cream in a box of Roses (fine, you like caramel or whatever, I get it – change semi-hilarious gag as needed, you have my permission).

Where was I? Ah yes, le postcard, bearing that most famous photo of a bunch of models wearing one of Christian Dior’s collections. It’s pretty hot. Though it’s interesting to look at models from the 1950s…there’s so much range in age and height and size. They’re basically normal. Some of them are even hideous, and not in that ‘what, I’m jus’ some funny looking haute-couture half-giraffe half-elf half-female child, being awesome’ way. More in a ‘I’d rather be wearing my mum-jeans’ way. You know it.

Anyway, if you’re wondering why such an exhibition (it showcases couture from England and France between 1947 and 1957) would be held in Bendigo, and not be touring Melbourne, I think the answer is

Free Sampler? Not Likely

Another barely-relevant fact that you don’t really want/need to know about me: I’m a volunteer at the RSPCA, in quarantine, which means I spend a lot of time scrubbing shit (i almost wrote ‘poop’ then – why?), herding kittens and smelling like disinfectant. But, while lining litter trays with old pages of newspaper a few weeks ago, I came across a fascinating article on an aspect of collecting that I know next-to-zero about: embroidery samplers.

(PS: am I the world champion segue-maker or what?)

Now, all youse hipsters out there, groaning because I’m not blathering on about the return of Reebok pumps and how much your original Sir-Mix-a-Lot cassingle from 1992 is now worth, be patient. I didn’t think I was into embroidery either. Every time I so much as think about folk art I get this constricted, claustrophobic feeling, like I’m being smothered by dried flowers and decoupage and calico dolls with corkscrew hair. The Horror. But trust me – framed embroidery is a whole other board game. It’s hot. And the prices for this shizzle are rapidly getting out of control.

Trinny and Susannah Publish Book About Vintage

Is it just me, or is Trinny and Susannah’s latest book (now don’t get all snooty on me, I know you love watching their blunt-school-nurse/mother-hen routine as much as I do) pretty much a homage to vintage?

I Love Lucite

Before we begin, I have to admit that I can’t take credit for the above title. For those of you who, like me, were glued to the adventures of the cast of ‘Friends’ throughout the mid-90s and beyond, the phrase will no doubt sound familiar. This is because it’s the name of one of the shops that Joey finds listed on his ginormous credit card statement after he gets fired from Days of Our Lives (or falls down an elevator shaft, as it were). Remember when Friends was funny? I do. Makes me feel about a million years old.

Nonetheless, I do have a whole lotta love for lucite. Why?