Cruising some old posts, I realised that on this here blog, I really seem to love things a lot. Like, a lot. Every era, every medium, every major movement or designer. I heart them all.
But this isn’t actually the case. So I thought, you know what? Maybe it’s time to be a hater for a minute or two. There is some vintage/antique stuff out there that I won’t be cladding myself/cluttering my domicile with anytime soon. And here it is…
1) Toby jugs. You know what? Toby Jugs FREAK ME OUT. Why do people love/collect these things? Think about it – some gnarled old evil looking dude with a massive head and absent brain is staring evilly at you as you drink out of him/dust him lovingly. Whitney Houston would say that it’s whack…like crack.
2) Macrame. To hell with macrame. Guys – what is the appeal of macrame? It looks so cluttered and dingy. Whenever I see one of those magazine spreads about the ‘crafty look’ and they’re hailing the chicness of macrame, I shake my head in disbelief. Except, of course, for this:
which is the definition of awesome.
3) Gathered elastic waists. They make everyone look hideous. Quite a feat. If you must wear one, please belt it – for your sake and mine.
4) The ‘Annie Hall’ look. As much as you try and sell me ill-fitting shirts with tapered, pleated buff-coloured pants, I ain’t buying.
6) Lumpy glass – That ‘art glass’ which is all covered in lumps. They try to pass it off as ‘beautiful’ and ‘unique’. I call it lazy and repulsive.
7) Anything ivory or made out of a bear head or an elephant foot or whatever. The only thing grosser than fur is when you start dangling the dismembered body parts all over the place. Ditto things with ‘fox hunt’ patterns. Why do I want to eat from a plate with a picture some barbaric ’sport’ on it? Yuk. I don’t even see why people who dig on fox hunting would enjoy this.
OK, well those are most of my pet hates covered…whew, feels good to let out the jive. What about y’all? Any vintage/antique things that make you go ‘blurgh’?
